I went to Melanie as a last resort. I am estranged from my oldest daughter whom I adopted when she was thirteen, her husband, whom I had once loved as my own son, and my newborn grandchild because of conflicts my daughter and I had through her teen years. I had desperately tried to find peace for the situation through counseling, but my efforts were still falling short. I was plagued by a visceral anger that I was unable to rid myself of. My husband and I had been watching a program on past-life regression and how it had assisted some people in overcoming emotional issues plaguing them in the present. After some discussion, we thought “what the heck…can’t hurt!” After some internet searches, I came across Melanie’s site and contacted her.
My journey was a surprising one and not what I had expected. One of the most touching things in the process was when Melanie told me that I could be accompanied by a spirit of someone who had passed over to ease my journey. In the “movie” that unfolded in my mind, I saw three figures engulfed in dark shadow. Two were tall men and one was much shorter. Instinctively, I knew the tall men were two of my great-grandfathers, the smaller of the men was my grandfather who had raised me. The two tall men stepped back and the shorter man came forward. I was able to see the twinkle in his eyes that I had known in life and it seemed I was able to even smell his cigar smoke. He took my hand with a reassuring smile and the adventure began.
In a past life, I was a simple farmer, Clarence, who occasionally worked as a coal miner in the area of North Carolina and Virginia in the latter part of the 1800’s. He and his wife, Lydia had two children, a boy and a girl. Imagine my surprise when I identified my daughter in my current life as Lydia, my wife in my past life. The daughter in this prior life was my son-in-law. Clarence was part Native American and identified himself as Cherokee. At his heart, he was a gentle, sensitive soul, but had been placed in situations that had hardened him. Clarence had experienced racism at a young age and was looked down upon because he was of mixed race. He found his solace in the woods of his home, gathering herbs and practicing the healing he had learned from his mother. His father had been killed in a drunken dispute when Clarence was only fifteen, leaving him to care for the rest of his family until his mother remarried.
The union between Clarence and Lydia had not been a happy one. Lydia had an affair with a man whom she felt could provide her with more material wealth and status and in a fit of anger, Clarence shot him and dumped his body in a ravine. Days later, I was able to sketch the weapon for my husband who is a bit of an antique firearms buff and he confirmed that the rifle would have been what a man of Clarence’s era and social status would have likely owned.
Clarence and Lydia remained together, but were never at peace with one another. To complicate matters, Clarence’s relationship with his daughter, (Ann or Anna) became strained because the child had witnessed the shooting and came to fear her father. As she grew up, she married a man who was a bit of a scoundrel and had a child by him. Because of some harsh words from Clarence, the man had left her and her baby.
Clarence’s daughter blamed him for her husband’s abandonment and left the farm with his grandchild. Lydia passed away from what I believed was small pox (rationally, I believed the era was wrong for this disease, but after some investigation, found that outbreaks still occurred in the Appalachian region during the time period). Anna and her child also lost their lives to disease a short time later. Clarence lived out the remainder of his life with guilt, anger, pain and resentment, passing from tuberculosis at the age of seventy-two. He had been a gentle, sensitive soul, but life had hardened him and he had allowed the pain to stifle the kindness in him.
I was able to pull some parallels from Clarence’s life into my current situation. I had a tendency to want to protect both my daughter and son-in-law and had a habit of booting people out of their lives whom I felt did not have their best interests at heart. This led to a lot of conflict with my daughter and a lot of my resentment towards her for getting into bad situations. I had conflicts with my son-in-law because he felt I was always giving up on her and was overly harsh in my words, just as Ann/Anna felt when Clarence ran her shiftless husband off. My son-in-law’s need to prove himself capable of caring for my daughter and grandchild without any assistance from our family also paralleled Anna’s desire to be free from her father’s care and subsequent departure. Clarence’s family had fallen apart because of circumstances beyond his control as well as in how he handled things…just as mine had. I had found myself becoming someone that I truly did not like because of all of the negativity I was harboring.
With Clarence and his family coming to a place of forgiveness, I was also able to free myself from the shackles of anger and resentment in my current situation. Despite my situation not improving, I am able to still have love, caring and forgiveness towards my daughter, son-in-law, and their child. I may never see them again in this lifetime, but I am at peace with them, and that is a feeling I never thought I would have again.
Melanie mentioned I might have some spontaneous memories of that life and others over the next few days and I did. On the way home, I could not get the name “Pembroke” out of my mind. I looked it up and it is a town in North Carolina…home to the Lumbee Indians (formerly identified as Cherokee). It had puzzled me as to why Ann/Anna did not really have Native American features and in fact had blue eyes and sandy blonde hair. However, the Lumbee’s are theorized to be the descendants of the Croatan tribe…the remnants of the Lost Colony of Roanoak. I’ve also had some flashbacks of a medieval castle, a brutal murder outside of a tavern and even what I believe to be a witch trial. At some point in the future, I will probably explore those lifetimes too.